Knucklehead of the Day

Imagine this: You’re headed to Bermuda for a quick weekend getaway and inside your carry-on bag, among the small pack of Kleenex tissues and the overpriced designer lipstick, are eleven bullets you just happened to throw inside it months earlier. Apparently you did this when said bullets fell from your storage closet and you wanted to hide them from a handyman who was tooling around your Oyster Bay home, so you scooped them up and popped them in your purse. No harm done really, except you forgot to take them out then planned a weekend golfing vacation in Bermuda purse in tow. Somehow you got through security at JFK (nice work, TSA) and to your delight played eighteen holes at Mid Ocean Golf Club, but when you tried to board a JetBlue flight on the way back you were arrested for attempting to fly with illegal cargo. Knucklehead, much? I won’t disparage anyone for having a firing range in their basement—although that’s not really my cup of tea—but to think folks are flying the friendly skies with live ammunition in their bags is a bit disconcerting. Fortunately for the bullet smuggler she was acquitted on all charges after a three-day trial last week. “If I had remembered I had put [the bullets] in there I never would have brought them here,” said the accused, Lucy Stackler. “I’m not that crazy.” Sorry lady, but I beg the differ. You crazy. You very, very crazy.