And We're Back...Sort Of

Yes, it's been virtually an entire week since my last post. Well, only four days but according to some surf-crazed, newly-engaged readers with a propensity for the New York Yankees, Bermuda Shorts has been way too quiet as of late. I totally agree and readers, you indeed have deepest my apologies for the lack of tropical updates and island news—but my silence hasn't been without good reason. As my television career grows so do the opportunities that present themselves, like the "Best of Bermuda" show I've been filming for the past two weeks that will air locally this summer. I'll be sure to spread the good word once it's all up and running, but you can expect to watch yours truly drinking rum swizzles on the beach, hitting golf balls at Port Royal, SCUBA diving on the south shore, parasailing in Dockyard, sightseeing in St. George and much, much more. Which brings me to yet another reason why Bermuda Shorts is likely to be quiet until early June: It's time for Mountainfilm! That's right, the annual Telluride film festival is officially upon us, which means I'll be covering its films and filmmakers—plus artists, athletes and activists—for Outside Television very soon (I told you all about last year's festival here, but in case you need a Mountainfilm refresher course just check out this video). So don't be sad. Know that I'm busy doing what I do best and that I'll soon return with your daily dose of sunshine. In the meantime the first person who correctly guesses where the above photo was taken wins a prize. Leave your guess in the comment section below and whoever's answer is closest will be awarded something unmentionably cool. Go!

Destination Dockyard

You know what one of the greatest things about living in Bermuda is? Playing tourist. That's right: When the sun is shining and I've got a day to play, all I have to do is trot down to my favorite beach, cafe or one of dozens of popular attractions that island visitors descend upon every year—like the Royal Naval Dockyard, for example. Now, for all of you locals who may be saying, "Is this guy crazy? Dockyard is for cruise shippers!" To you I say, have you ever pushed a stroller down Middle Road? If so, you know that vehicular traffic and narrow island roads can be a concern for new parents since Bermuda unfortunately lacks proper sidewalks outside of Hamilton and St. George. But for those of you who'd like to spend a pleasant day pushing your little one around without hugging a coral stone wall then don't miss Dockyard on Bermuda's far west end. Outside of the occasional Segway gang and rumbling shuttle tram, the area is virtually motorist-free, perfect for new parents (like me!) and their outdoor-loving sons in strollers. It's even got some worthwhile places to grab a bite, like Bone Fish Bar & Grill where I enjoyed a lovely blackened fish sandwich served with a simple spinach salad (although don't expect to find it on the menu; I asked the chef to instead grill the mahi-mahi from the deep-fried fish sandwich and to shake some spices on it, a plan that worked surprisingly well). And even though the 3,000-passenger Caribbean Princess was docked in port, I didn't even mind being surrounded by the fanny-packed hordes. Call me a convert, but I think Dockyard's big enough for all of us.

Say It Ain't So

So much for a Royal honeymoon in Bermuda. This just in from London's Daily Mail: William and Kate have officially departed for the warm waters of the Indian Ocean and a $6,500-per-night villa in the Seychelles. Reports the newspaper, “The island…[which is] one of 115 in the archipelago, northeast of Madagascar [is] blanketed by coconut groves [and] has only a handful of luxury villas, each with stunning views out across the warm ocean. Each has its own butler, an open-air bathroom area with sunken bath and shower, a private garden and a wooden deck with freshwater rock pool and yoga pavilion. William and Kate will also have the use of three private yachts.” And although it would’ve been great to have the Royal couple here in Bermuda, I can say with all honesty that the pair have indeed made a good decision. Use of three private yachts? A giant luxury villa? Sounds a like a blissful time to me.

A Royal Honeymoon...In Bermuda!

The Royal honeymoon stakes just got a little higher since Britain’s Independent newspaper recently published reports that the newly married Duke and Dutchess of Cambridge might indeed take their post-nuptial trip to Bermuda. According to the story, which was covered locally in the Bermuda Sun, William and Kate are considering the island as a potentially honeymoon destination in addition to an island off the coast of Australia, a Kenyan safari and Jordan in the Middle East, a longtime ally of the United Kingdom. But the story also reports that the chances of the pair choosing a non-UK territory are slim: Given the current global economic crisis, the Royal couple would likely fly British Airways rather than a plane from the Queen’s hangar—ruling out Australia—while recent terrorist attacks in Nairobi and Mombasa would cross Kenya off the list given the security headache involved. The article points out that an island is most likely, with the UK’s public relations agenda insisting that the couple not visit anywhere outside the Commonwealth or Overseas Territories. And considering Prince Willian will go back to flying helipcoters for the Royal Airforce upon his return, a destination likely to cause jetlag will probably not be considered. Hmm, so let’s see. Served by British Airways? Check. An island destination? Yep. Within the UK Overseas Territories. You betcha. No jetlag from the London? Spot on, chap. By the looks of it Will and Kate may be stealing a smooch on our pink sand beaches very soon—let’s just hope they can catch a public bus when they get here.

The Colbert Watch

Just when you thought the Colbert rhetoric was over—you know, the endless updates about how the flag-waving comedian plans to sail to Bermuda this month—in comes yet another piece of news to help advance the story. If you’ve been reading all of this time you probably already know about Colbert’s sponsorship with Audi, heard his public challenge to race Sir Richard Branson and even perused my Open Letter to Stephen Colbert, suggestions for how he should tackle Bermuda once he arrives. So what could possibly be next for the Bermuda-bound funnyman? How about an all-expenses paid beach party? Yes indeed, this just in from The Reefs Hotel & Club: If Colbert and his team finishes first during the Charleston to Bermuda race, the Southampton resort will throw the crew a beach party at Coconuts, its open-air restaurant, which ironically I raved about just a few days ago. According to the resort’s blog, a first-place finish will be rewarded with plenty of ice-cold Dark 'n Stormy's and the freshest seafood in town (and perhaps, a fancy Colbert-inspired sand sculpture like the one above). But should Colbert lag behind he’ll still be rewarded—as long as he doesn’t come in last, that is. If he and his crew finish anywhere behind first place Colbert will be awarded a five-night stay at The Reefs brand new two-bedroom Club Suites that he can use for himself or give to a deserving member of Colbert Nation. Considering the über-luxurious rooms have private verandas, huge soaking tubs and unending ocean views, I'd say Colbert has all the motivation he needs for a strong finish. Happy sailing!

Photo of the Day

I'm happy to report that this picture was taken at Coconuts, the open-air restaurant at The Reefs Hotel & Club, which I'm also happy to report just completely revamped it's lunch and dinner menus. Given my new arrival I was only able to stay for a quick drink instead of a full meal, but considering the restaurant's new island-inspired options—like mahi mahi tacos, jerk chicken platter or the oh-so-Bermuda grilled rockfish sandwich—there's no doubt I'll be back soon to offer a full report. The other good news? I hear dinner at the casual beachside cafe will no longer be three-course prix fixe, which means all of you dessert-haters out there can finally enjoy an entree or even a simple appetizer within eyeshot of the crashing waves—easily one of the best spots in Bermuda to chow down (trust me, you don't get a view like that just anywhere). Stay tuned for more to come; in the meantime, have a Bermudaful day!