It's Like, Africa Hot

Do you live on the east coast of the U.S. or Canada? Are you really hot? If so then you probably have Bermuda to blame. According to North American weather reports—like this one from Toronto, this one from Vermont and this one from Massachusetts—meteorologists are blaming the July heat wave on a “Bermuda high,” which is also causing haze, humidity and some very funny comments on Twitter. A few of my faves:

“#pitstains currently trending in Ottawa” -- @domcoballe

“Email from a NYC friend/colleague: I am homicidally hot the minute I am more than 2 inches away from the A/C but otherwise fine.” -- @victoriajcoe

“The East Coast is going to melt” -- @skeletalknight

“I thought I lived in Canada, not Grenada” -- @jonjuane

“Heatwave mixtape: 13 Songs about taking off clothes, http://j.mp/bdvZqi -- @eugenephoto

“I’m starting to understand what the dinosaurs felt like” -- @poofleia

“I would relish having a kidney stolen today if it’d mean waking up in an ice bath” -- @rellasue

“Ok, now it really is hotter than two rats fornicating in a wool sock.” -- @deadflagblues6

Says @007LouiseOB, that last one was the “best hot weather description EVER” and at the risk of doting on the profane I think I have to agree (although @rellasue’s ice bath comment is a close second). As for Bermuda, well, it’s 80 degrees and sunny here. And with flights less than two hours from New York City, you can feasibly fly to Southampton, Bermuda faster than you could drive to Southampton, Long Island. Just sayin’.