Now Playing: Tree Frogs!

As if you didn’t have enough reasons to love Bermuda at Christmas—Dunkley’s Dairy eggnog, scooter-driving Santas, a two-story Michael Jackson in colorful lights—suddenly another one bubbles to the top. But of course, I can’t take all the credit for my latest discovery. I found today’s gem on a website called Topless Robot, and no, it’s not what you think it is (although it's worth noting that the site is devoted to "nerd news, humor and self-loathing." Go figure). That said, check out yesterday’s post by blogger Ethan Kaye who lists 10 Totally WTF Christmas Albums. It’s really quite humorous, especially when you get to number seven: Jingle Bermuda Tree Frogs (yes, that’s the actual album cover above). Writes Kaye, “See, Bermuda tree frogs in nature are loud, chirping things that are like crickets mixed with cicadas, but beach-style. Every track has a nice carpet of Bermuda tree frogs chirping tunelessly while musician ‘Duane D’ plays some weak standard on his keyboard over top of them. If Hell exists, and they have taste, there's a special room for ‘Duane D’ and his goddamn tree frogs.” Ouch. But he does have a valid point, especially after giving Deck the Halls a quick listen on iTunes. I’m not sure where Duane D is these days—and I have no clue who John, George, Paul and Eddy are; frogs with names? real people?—but let just hope they've all moved onto bigger and better things.

Merry Christmas?

This will be my second Christmas in Bermuda and the one thing I’ve noticed is the decidedly un-PC holiday greetings flying around the island. This, I should point out, is a good thing. Go shopping in Hamilton, heck, go shopping anywhere in Bermuda and test it out for yourself. Nine times out of ten you’ll be met with a festive “Merry Christmas” rather than the oh-so-politically-correct “Happy Holidays” now so prevalent throughout corporate and commercial culture in the United States. Which begs the question: Why do Americans deprive themselves of the Christmas spirit? The easy answer is the foundation on which the country was built—that it’s not a Christian nation, but a nation made up of many religions. This, I should point out, is also a good thing. But if my Jewish friends said “Happy Hanukkah” to me in early December, I’d reply with a polite “shalom” and be on my merry way. I wouldn’t be offended. Point is, I actually like people sharing their respective beliefs with me, even if they’re in casual conversation. Here in Bermuda churches of all faiths cover the landscape—Catholic, Anglican, Baptist, Seventh Day Adventist, you name it. There’s an often-repeated (but not quite confirmed) fact that Bermuda has more churches per square mile than anywhere else in the world. The island is very much a Christian nation, so why not say Merry Christmas when shopping in town? For someone who enjoys the holiday season as much as I do, it’s actually refreshing that December not be veiled in PC rhetoric. So to all of you reading out there, wherever you are and whatever you may be celebrating the season, a hearty Merry Christmas to you. And yes, that indeed is me and Santa clutching our scooter helmets. Only in Bermuda, folks.

What The Frack?

Positioned nearly 650 miles off the shores of North Carolina, Bermuda isn't really known for an abundance of natural gas. After all, its an archipelago of volcanic islands in the middle of nowhere. The best hope Bermuda has for producing sustainable energy is capturing the sun or harnessing the wind, which by the way is blowing like gangbusters right about now. Seriously folks, hold onto your hats! But I digress. As many of you know Tuesday brings with it a focus on all things outdoors including adventures, experiences and everything that is the life outside. On today's installment of This Way Out—my Outside Television blog for all you wondering—I'm talking about hydraulic fracturing. Ya know, the controversial natural gas drilling practice that's contaminating water sources across America (and throughout the world). New York's governor recently ordered a temporary moratorium on fracking, something I argue is a good thing. If you agree, or even if you don't, click on over to What The Frack? on Outside Television and give it a read. And to learn more about the ugly truth of hydraulic fracturing—namely, how folks who live near natural gas wells can light their tap water on fire—watch the trailer for the film Gasland above and stay tuned until the very end to see some shocking footage. In the meantime I'll be back tomorrow with your regularly scheduled Bermuda Shorts programming. Happy reading!

At Least We've Got Rainbows...

This may come as a surprise to our friends in the chilly northeast but it does indeed get cold here in Bermuda. Even record breaking cold! According to the Bermuda Weather Service, the island recorded its lowest temperature of the year yesterday when the mercury plummeted to a chilly—wait for it, wait for it—50 degrees Fahrenheit! That beats the previous December low by seven whopping degrees since the old record this month was 57 degrees, set in 1971 (and before that in 1955 and again in 1962). I know, it doesn’t sound very bone-chilling but you try getting on the back of a scooter in 50 degree, rainy, windy weather and see how you feel after a thirty-minute ride, okay? And then of course there’s the wind chill, a factor a Bermuda Weather Service meteorologist said would easily cause islanders to reach for a sweater. “Wind chill is not generally considered significant at temperatures above 40 degrees Fahrenheit and therefore not officially calculated,” he said. “But, considering the current 25 knot winds at 50-55 degrees Fahrenheit, it would feel like 42-49F.” See, 42 degrees. I told you it was cold! And even though we’re nowhere near the chilliest day on record—44 degrees Fahrenheit on February 27, 1950—it’s hard to remember when I could ride my scooter while wearing shorts and T-shirt and still be toasty. Ahh well, rest assured Bermuda’s sunny skies will indeed be returning soon. And hey, at least I don’t have to shovel any snow this weekend.

In The News

The year is quickly coming to a close, which means year-end “best of” lists will be popping up everywhere long before you’re clinking champagne flutes at midnight. Tis the season, I suppose. The most interesting one I’ve seen thus far has been The 10 Most Powerful Tweets of 2010 (one of my favorites is from @BPGlobalPR, a satire-laden feed created in response to the Gulf Coast oil spill: “Catastrophe is a strong word, let’s all agree to call it a whoopsie daisy”). But of course we’re here to talk about Bermuda so let’s delve into the latest list from Travel+Leisure, its annual World’s Best Hotels list, which was released this week and features the world’s 500 greatest hotels. With a total score of 89.08 out of a possible 100, The Reefs Hotel & Club was selected for the eighth time, this being the fourth year in a row for the beloved Southampton resort (that's the hotel's "Travel+Leisure Terrace," where you can dine next to the ocean). Also on the list, Tucker’s Point Hotel & Spa, which is making its T+L World’s Best debut with a score of 90.59. Considering the magazine also chose luxurious Caribbean stalwarts like Antigua’s Curtain Bluff Resort and Cap Juluca in Anguilla, Bermuda is indeed in very good company.