Last week I wrote about how difficult it was obtain one’s driver’s license. Never in a million years did I think I’d have similar problems getting legally certified to ride a scooter. How hard could the test be? After all, the whole thing takes about five minutes. In the TCD parking lot you’re expected to execute five simple commands on a bike (what Bermudians call scooters here; bicycles are called pedal bikes): First the walk test, where you’re expected to walk the scooter around four cones in a figure eight pattern without losing control. Check. Next up, the roundabout test, where you drive down a straight line, go clockwise around a circle, turn around, and drive counterclockwise around the same circle and back. Check. The third task, called serpentine ride, has you zig-zag between six sets of orange cones, down and back. Check. For the brake test, the applicant must ride a straight line between cones, turn at the end, and ride back, applying the brake in a safe and controlled manner. Check. And then there’s the turn signal test, which by all accounts I blew big time. For the fifth and final part of the exam, you’re expected to ride down a straight line and using your indicators, make a right hand turn and come back. I used my indicator, but apparently I was also supposed to use hand signals as well. Really Mr. Scooter Examiner? Hand signals in addition to my blinker? So you’re saying you want me to drive the bike with one hand even though I have my indicator light on? Really? And for not doing that I fail and can’t take the test for another week? Seriously? I’m pretty sure the guy just didn’t like me and so for that I received this pretty little piece of paper (see above). The good news is my wife is one helluva test taker. With just one short driving lesson under her belt, Joy hopped on the bike in the TCD parking lot and passed the exam with flying colors. I’m not sure how she knew to use her hands, but I’m pretty sure Bermuda is suiting her just fine.